It's a new academic year, a new application season, and another exciting round of roll the dice, bite your nails, and hope the odds are in your favor!
This new version offers improvements over last year: Better GRE score, TOEFL scores included for a possible TA position, I'm a bit more humble and practical about my college choices and applying to bunch more, plus I have some money saved so I can handle getting half/partial funding and can also afford applying to more schools than before. I'm also finally moving from part time to getting a full time teaching load this semester so significantly more money: Yay!!
The stress of putting yourself, your brains, and your credentials out there and hoping you are good enough for the SECOND time can at times grow into an overwhelming full blown crying hair pulling panic attack complete with falling sick every two weeks! So this will probably be the first in a series of blogs where I vent my frustration at the application process because I have found that writing about things that stress you out really diffuses them before they grow into unmanageable little monsters.
In all honesty, I just want to fast forward to when I have all my applications submitted. The frustration has already begun. After emailing 7 professors whose research interests are really exactly what I want and spending an hour plus tailoring each email to the professor, I got a reply from exactly ONE. It's pretty much expected though. I'm gonna of course try again once I submit applications, because they're more likely to remember you if they read that email, even if they don't initially respond. At least that's what I like to think.
The interesting thing about applying for the second time is how your resolve hardens. I am now absolutely convinced that a PhD is for me and I'm willing to fight tooth and nail for it. It sometimes feel like I already am. I'm ready to take the challenge of spending years doing research on a graduate student's budget and find myself further and further refining what it is I want to study and really knowing for sure what it is I want. Failing and having to try again really tells you what you are made of. I now know for sure that if I fail again, I would be upset, but I would try a third time, and even a forth time. Let's hope the second one sticks though!!!
Ten days from now, Saturday 9:00AM, I will be taking the TOEFL. I'm excited to take it. I just want it done because then I feel like everything is ready and I can really begin work on filling out the first round of applications. Taking action always makes me feel better than waiting to take action because you can't yet.
This new version offers improvements over last year: Better GRE score, TOEFL scores included for a possible TA position, I'm a bit more humble and practical about my college choices and applying to bunch more, plus I have some money saved so I can handle getting half/partial funding and can also afford applying to more schools than before. I'm also finally moving from part time to getting a full time teaching load this semester so significantly more money: Yay!!
The stress of putting yourself, your brains, and your credentials out there and hoping you are good enough for the SECOND time can at times grow into an overwhelming full blown crying hair pulling panic attack complete with falling sick every two weeks! So this will probably be the first in a series of blogs where I vent my frustration at the application process because I have found that writing about things that stress you out really diffuses them before they grow into unmanageable little monsters.
In all honesty, I just want to fast forward to when I have all my applications submitted. The frustration has already begun. After emailing 7 professors whose research interests are really exactly what I want and spending an hour plus tailoring each email to the professor, I got a reply from exactly ONE. It's pretty much expected though. I'm gonna of course try again once I submit applications, because they're more likely to remember you if they read that email, even if they don't initially respond. At least that's what I like to think.
The interesting thing about applying for the second time is how your resolve hardens. I am now absolutely convinced that a PhD is for me and I'm willing to fight tooth and nail for it. It sometimes feel like I already am. I'm ready to take the challenge of spending years doing research on a graduate student's budget and find myself further and further refining what it is I want to study and really knowing for sure what it is I want. Failing and having to try again really tells you what you are made of. I now know for sure that if I fail again, I would be upset, but I would try a third time, and even a forth time. Let's hope the second one sticks though!!!
Ten days from now, Saturday 9:00AM, I will be taking the TOEFL. I'm excited to take it. I just want it done because then I feel like everything is ready and I can really begin work on filling out the first round of applications. Taking action always makes me feel better than waiting to take action because you can't yet.
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